I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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