Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
