Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
