Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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