Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
