he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
