So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
