Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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