he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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