The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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