you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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