can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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