There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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