Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Jerry, you need to find god
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
