do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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