im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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