and next time when you feel me up, do it right
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
