Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
