my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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