I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
