do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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