smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Cover your peen. We're going out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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