I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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