We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
