All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
either way he was missing a nipple.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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