So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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