I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
