my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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