Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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