last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
