soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
