yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
This is my gift to your gina
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
