I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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