his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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