So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
