margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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