I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
