And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
