I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
