love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
