Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
