So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
