R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
