Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
