We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
