I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
