Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
