meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
