if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
