How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Only a mothe r could love this liver
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
