You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
