I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
