We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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